I read this story from Matthew 18:21-35 (NIV) earlier in the week. It struck a cord with me that night, and yet today.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.“
(Bold emphasis mine.)
I underlined that last verse in my Bible and even stared at it momentarily when I originally read it. My ESV reads, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Forgiveness is the hardest lesson to learn sometimes. I remember as a child having to apologize to my sister for things, and then later telling her I wasn’t really sorry. They were words I had spoken to appease my mother. Do I still do that today to appease my Heavenly Father? He’s telling me that’s not good enough.
We ask God for forgiveness for our transgressions, but we must also forgive others. Earlier in Matthew, Jesus advises that we should leave the alter to ask for forgiveness before leaving our gift there.
I believe God expects us to forgive, no matter what. It’s a hard proposition. The hurt that we inflict upon one another (not always intentional), runs deep at time, tearing us apart, affecting our actions, judgement and our treatment of one another. Sometimes it’s hard to truly forgive from our hearts and move past that pain. But God doesn’t tell us that we have options. He’s clear about where our forgiveness should lie.
Today, in several places I was reminded of this story so fresh in my mind. While I have read it many times, and understood it, that last line kept shouting to me from my soul. What will my eternal consequences be from not being able to forgive from my heart? Only God knows, but I personally don’t want to find out.
I know I still carry deep thorns of unforgiveness in my own heart. The Lord is helping me pluck them out of my one at a time.